Ever The Same

So I am sitting here and it is 2 something in the morning. Today has been a bad day for me, emotionally and physically. Today it is June 27th, which marks 16 months since my daughter died. Tonight I sit here in her room on her bed, I changed the sheets finally since she has been gone. I was doing everything I could to hold on to every bit of her, everything she touched, I can smell her smell in the sheets. But today something told me...........a little voice inside my head, perhaps her? That said it was time to change the sheets and wash the comforter and just do a real good cleaning of her room. It was so much harder than I thought. Changing those sheets....the last thing she touched, laid upon while she was alive. But I did it.........

My eyes are going to be so swollen in the morning it is not even funny. School starts August 8th, and I am having a hard time grasping that fact that she would be going into the 7th grade. She was in 5th when she died. I see her peers and they have changed so much and I wonder how much she would have changed. She will be 12 next month, almost a teenager and I just can't imagine it. So very weird and sad :[

I am going to bed my eyes just want to close and I will be sleeping in her bed for the 1st time since she has died. I just miss her so much and I would love to be able to tell her just one more time how much I love her and miss her.........

I Love You Lizzy To The Moon And Back....