You've got your ball, you've got your chain....
Well, it certain;y has been awhile since I have added anything here. These past few months have been extremely hard to deal with................it has just been hard to LIVE period. We moved into a new home, holiday happiness is all around me and well here I am trying to be happy only remembering that my daughter has died, the way she died, what she was wearing that day. Everything leading up to the accident is so vivid in my mind, but heaven forbid I try to balance my checkbook, all hell breaks lose and I can't even add the simplest of numbers. I could forget what I did 2 minutes ago , but here I am remebering thing that happened almost 2 years ago like they just happened.
I think I have sort of had a small break through if you want to call it that. Things don't seem to be in grey so much anymore, I see more color and am aware of things now that I wasn't aware of during the past 2 years that she has been gone. I don't know what changed to tell you the truth, it certainly wasn't any religious miracle or anything like that, I just WOKE up. I will never forget my daughter, she brightened up any room when she walked in and she just loved to cut up and joke. She will forever be 10 even though she would be 12 now, but since I only knew her when she is 10, she will remain 10 forever.
When we moved to this new house we had the tedious task of bringing over her belongings, BUT no room for her to put the stuff in. So now I have begun to go through bags and bags of her favorite clothes, and blankets. I will never be able to part with any of her items, I believe they should be shared with my surviving children and one day their children. I want them to never forget their sister, we will always remember her and miss her............
Lizzy- I lit a candle for at The Compassionate Friends memorial last night, your na,e was read out loud and I was given a candle to bring your flame to life and it was a good night, lots of tears but we all had something in common , not by choice. I could cry and not worry what the other person might think I was crying for................Anyway Christmas is coming up and in a way I a looking forward to it? Strange as that may sound............I still visit you at the cemetery and will always do that, a quiet peaceful place to think and remember the times I had with you. Anyway baby girl, I will see you again one day.............I Hope. To The Moon And Back I Love You....
I think I have sort of had a small break through if you want to call it that. Things don't seem to be in grey so much anymore, I see more color and am aware of things now that I wasn't aware of during the past 2 years that she has been gone. I don't know what changed to tell you the truth, it certainly wasn't any religious miracle or anything like that, I just WOKE up. I will never forget my daughter, she brightened up any room when she walked in and she just loved to cut up and joke. She will forever be 10 even though she would be 12 now, but since I only knew her when she is 10, she will remain 10 forever.
When we moved to this new house we had the tedious task of bringing over her belongings, BUT no room for her to put the stuff in. So now I have begun to go through bags and bags of her favorite clothes, and blankets. I will never be able to part with any of her items, I believe they should be shared with my surviving children and one day their children. I want them to never forget their sister, we will always remember her and miss her............
Lizzy- I lit a candle for at The Compassionate Friends memorial last night, your na,e was read out loud and I was given a candle to bring your flame to life and it was a good night, lots of tears but we all had something in common , not by choice. I could cry and not worry what the other person might think I was crying for................Anyway Christmas is coming up and in a way I a looking forward to it? Strange as that may sound............I still visit you at the cemetery and will always do that, a quiet peaceful place to think and remember the times I had with you. Anyway baby girl, I will see you again one day.............I Hope. To The Moon And Back I Love You....
posted by 3libras at
8:21 PM
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